St. Michael's Lent 2026 - Reading #11 - Asceticism
Reading
Everyone dies once. Augustine refuses to let the manner of death become the main fear.
"Of this at least I am certain, that no one has ever died who was not destined to die some time. Now the end of life puts the longest life on a par with the shortest. For of two things which have alike ceased to be, the one is not better, the other worse--the one greater, the other less. And of what consequence is it what kind of death puts an end to life, since he who has died once is not forced to go through the same ordeal a second time? And as in the daily casualties of life every man is, as it were, threatened with numberless deaths, so long as it remains uncertain which of them is his fate, I would ask whether it is not better to suffer one and die, than to live in fear of all?"
Flesh shrinks; the soul asks a better question.
He redirects: "I am not unaware of the poor-spirited fear which prompts us to choose rather to live long in fear of so many deaths, than to die once and so escape them all; but the weak and cowardly shrinking of the flesh is one thing, and the well-considered and reasonable persuasion of the soul quite another. That death is not to be judged an evil which is the end of a good life; for death becomes evil only by the retribution which follows it. They, then, who are destined to die, need not be careful to inquire what death they are to die, but into what place death will usher them. And since Christians are well aware that the death of the godly pauper whose sores the dogs licked was far better than of the wicked rich man who lay in purple and fine linen, what harm could these terrific deaths do to the dead who had lived well?"
Ask where death ushers you — not which door.
Reflection
Modern men handle mortality by not handling it, and fathers feel a special license for the evasion: I can't think about that, people depend on me. Augustine reverses the logic. Precisely because people depend on you, you cannot afford the evasion. A man who has not settled his death runs his life on fear, and fear makes bad commanders: overcautious where courage is owed, reckless where prudence is owed, grasping where generosity is owed. Your family lives downstream of whether you have made peace with your ending.
"That death is not to be judged an evil which is the end of a good life." Yesterday you practiced releasing your goods; today the fast goes deeper — releasing your claim on your own span.
Memento mori, remember that you will die: not morbidity, calibration. Pray it. Let it rank your ambitions and shrink your grievances. The father who has faced his death once, squarely, before God, walks back into his kitchen free.